Those Damn Idiots
by Sasuke-KiraLover
Summary: A drabble series that follows the Naruto cast around Konoha's university, through hilarious and dramatic scenes. Drabble, AU. M for content/language. Ita/Saku Naru/Sasu Kiba/Hina Ino/Shika Gaara/Saku Hidan/Saku.


**Those Damn Idiots.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor does my blonde counterpart, but we did come up with this on our own. So give us credit. **

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><p><strong>Footloose and Apple Jacks~<strong>

"Hey Itachi, pour me a bowl of Footloose!" Sakura shouted over the noise of her hairdryer.

Itachi was in the kitchen area, downing a glass of OJ faster than he ever had, when he heard those words. And did a spit take. "…what?"

"FOOTLOOSE, DUMBASS, FOOTLOOSE!" Sakura screamed. She was _so_ not a morning person.

He pondered what exactly Footloose was, and suddenly Sakura threw the bathroom door open. "Footloose, you imbecilic! The breakfast cereal?"

"You mean Fruit Loops?" Gaara threw in from his room. Sakura gave his door an incredulous look.

"What the fuck is a Fruit Loops?" Sakura asked, looking to the ceiling for help.

"The breakfast cereal, Sakura." Itachi said. "With Toucan Sam?"

"NO NO NO. It's Footloose!"

"Sakura, it's Fruit Loops. And by the way, we don't have any. All we have are Apple Jacks." Itachi said.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" Sakura screamed.

**~OOOH NEJI~**

Neji was startled awake by the unsettling sound of…well he didn't know exactly. He cracked open his eye and-

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" He screamed like the little school girl he was. Above him his younger cousin stood, wriggling her fingers and chanting, "OOOHH NEJI!" in a demonic voice. Or what seemed like a demonic voice to him, seeing as he was still completely stoned from the night before.

"AAAAHHH!" Neji continued to scream, unashamed of his high-pitched squeal.

"Dude, shut the fuck up." Another demon's voice came from the bed beside his. He looked over to see an exasperated Shikamaru glaring at him.

Destiny was unfair.

**~Deadly Phone Charger~**

"Where the Hell do you plug this thing in at!" Naruto screamed, stabbing the outlet repeatedly with his charger.

"The two holes, dobe." His raven-haired lover said.

"I _know _that! But it's not going in- and-UGH- what the fu-" Naruto let out a strangled cry for help. His phone charger was wrapped tightly around his windpipe.

Sasuke sighed and stepped forth, trying to wrestle the killer phone charger off. It didn't loosen.

"You're choking me, Teme." Naruto hissed. Sasuke sighed angrily and whipped out his switchblade. Naruto started to freak out, but Sasuke had cut the cord before he could protest.

Naruto grabbed his throat and glared at Sasuke, "YOU DICK. NOW I CAN'T CHARGE MY PHONE."

"Hn."

**~SF and Homey G~**

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata strutted down the sidewalk, all skinny jeans and funky hair doo's.

Sakura spotted a very attractive male coming down the sidewalk, straight for them. "SF." She said, and immediately all the girl's faces fell perfectly straight. They looked ahead as they passed him. A few steps past him and Ino muttered, "Homey G."

All three suddenly grew sly grins and kept on strutting.

**~It's Exactly What It Looks Like.~**

Sakura was innocently shampooing her pink hair when the worst thing happened. She slid on a bar of soap. Oh, haha, let's laugh. It hurt okay. So of course, Sakura moaned for a good five minutes before standing up.

Then the second worst thing ever happened. She slipped _again_ on that same bar of soap and this time took the damn shower curtain down with her.

"THE FUCK WAS THAT?" She heard the booming voice of one of her roommates, and she knew it wasn't Gaara or Itachi, they were pretty quiet.

So that left-

"Hey what the fuck- oh bitch, you fell." Hidan said. He walked right on into the bathroom, and Sakura struggled for cover but only slid on the bar of soap again. Hidan caught her hand right before she fell and, unfortunately, her sudden weight pulled him down on top of her very nude bodice.

Not a second later did Itachi walk in, greeted by a very unpleasing sight

"For the record," Hidan gave Itachi a wink. "It's exactly what it looks like."


End file.
